There are few things we want more than a satisfying, successful relationship, and yet few things can be more challenging. When a couple is in a good place together, the care and goodness between them spills over and becomes a force for good in the world. And when a couple is struggling or reeling in their relationship, it is a source of pain for them and their capacity for good is diluted and diverted.
We believe that the capacity for love never goes away. It is a gift, and we do not lose it. It can, however, become blocked by injury, fear, criticism, defensiveness, resentment, hopelessness, distrust, or pride, not to mention our becoming consumed with the demands of work, parenting, illness, grief, or some other life crisis. When love gets blocked, and couples begin to struggle with communication, conflict, distance, and misunderstanding, couples therapy can facilitate the changes needed to reconnect with love.
We approach couples work with several intentions: creating a safe space where no further harm is done; building on already existing strengths; helping both members of the couple take responsibility for their side of the difficulty; supporting both partners in finding more useful ways of responding when their triggers are activated; and strengthening the couple’s ability to have constructive conversations about difficult issues. We offer tools that enable each person to stay with overwhelming and strong feelings long enough to find new ways of relating to old patterns. Trusting that the capacity for love does not go away, our intention is to help couples access curiosity and compassion for themselves and one another again, moving away from the habits of blame and defensiveness, and towards renewed connection.